Wedding Guest Etiquette Couples Wish Everyone Knew
Have you ever been to a wedding where there's that one guest that didn't seem to get the no kids memo? Or while trying to give your caterer a final number Aunt Sue, Uncle Bob, and the cousins still haven't RSVP’d? Don't you wish there was a wedding etiquette checklist that guests could look at so they know what to do or what not to do? Well that's what I'm trying to provide. If you're going to a wedding soon, you will definitely want to read this so you know what the couple is expecting and why certain things do matter. Even if to you it seems unimportant.
RSVP Deadlines Aren't a Suggestion
When you receive a wedding invitation most will have an RSVP deadline. Though it may be obvious that you should RSVP on time, most people don't think of all the logistics that can be derailed if people don't RSVP on time. The deadline that the couple sets normally is before the date that their vendors need a final count. If people are RSVPing late, or don't at all, it can screw up their catering numbers and seating chart in particular. A couple could end up paying for meals that aren't used, they may have to last minute add in a meal after they told their caterer a final count, or they may have to keep changing the seating chart adding or removing people. All in all, this will cause the couple a lot of stress. Just do them a favor and RSVP on time. You will save them time, money, and stress.
Not Every Invitation Includes a Plus-One
On the invitation you receive, or when you go to RSVP, you will see whether you
were offered a plus-one or not. Don't be offended if you don't receive one, and don't ask for one if you didn't receive one. With giving someone a plus-one it means multiple things for the couple and their wedding. They have to pay for another meal, more alcohol, additional rentals, and will make their wedding slightly less intimate. Especially if you're not in a relationship or the relationship is fairly new, it is normal to not receive a plus-one. Asking for one can make for an awkward conversation and can make the couple feel uncomfortable. They unfortunately can't make an exception for just you, because then they would have to make that exception for anyone else who asks. Do them a favor and don't make a big deal about it.
Your Children Are Not the Exception
Many people think that couples would let their children come, and that it's other people’s kids that the couple doesn't want at the wedding. The fact is, that is simply not true. Unless you have been specifically told by the couple prior to receiving the invitation that your kids are allowed, they're not. By doing a childless wedding this allows the couple to save money and to allow their guests to fully enjoy the wedding without having to worry about their children running around. Weddings are long and to be honest, the ceremonies are pretty boring. Most kids will get antsy and may even start misbehaving because they are bored, hungry, etc. Many couples feel it's just best to not bring kids. There may be some adult content at the wedding as well depending on the playlist and the amount of alcohol consumption. Some couples may choose to provide a sitter for all the guest’s children, but again that is not guaranteed. It's best to either choose to leave your kids at home or to choose not to go.
Arrive on Time
Arriving late to a wedding can be detrimental to the event. Imagine you're the bride, your walking down the aisle to your soon-to-be husband, and there's a commotion because Mr. and Mrs. Smith are late and are trying to find a seat. Arriving late can be disrupting and can draw attention away from the bride and groom and onto you, a wedding guest. Try to account for traffic and look ahead to
see what the parking situation is going to be. It's pretty simple, leave early and don't be late.
Watch the Alcohol Consumption
I think this is one that most guests overlook, and really just don't think about. Overindulging in alcohol can create uncomfortable situations at the wedding. Again this can draw attention away from the couple and onto you, it can disrupt the reception, and it can honestly embarrass the couple and yourself. Even if it's an open bar, still have control with your consumption. You can still have a good time without getting wasted.
Think About Who the Wedding is About
I think this question really covers all kinds of etiquette: is the wedding about you and what you want, or is it about the couple and how they want their wedding to go? If you think about this question then you will abide by what the couple requests of you and will want to make it the best day you possibly can for them. Whether or not you approve of things or even like the wedding design, it's not your wedding. If you're the couple I hope I've covered a lot of etiquette you may be worried about. We all want the wedding couple to have the most stress-free day they can.